Why I pulled the plug

I recently decided to deactivate my Facebook page and I was immediately bombarded with messages from friends and connections wondering why? Well, there are several reasons I decided I needed to unplug.

Time. Let’s face it having certain social connections take up alot of time, time I cannot afford to waste as my days are very limited with all I have on my plate. I love to read articles which are always being shared or situations where I want to offer advice or lend an ear, but I find myself being drawn in and it affects how productive my days can be.

My kids. Now that I am disconnected while I barely have free time I don’t feel the need to constantly check my phone. Even when my messages or emails start chiming in I can put my phone down and give my kids those extra 5, 10 or 15 minutes because I am not glued to my devices and those minutes make a world of difference. And at the same time I am teaching them that time for them is more important that social media.

Emotions. I get too emotional in too many situations although they may not be my own I can feel the pain and recently found that some situations from others literally took my breath away. I found myself unable to pull myself together at one point for the pain I felt for another, I could not breathe and found myself crying a heavy endless river I could not control. It is a haunting feeling. I just can’t put myself there right now, I have my own fears and I don’t want to find myself in an emotionally compromised situation. I must stay in control as it is the only way I can get through my days.

Normalcy. While I love my special needs community I have gotten to a place where I just want to live my life without being reminded every second that I have a daughter with disabilities. Yeah she has special needs…so what? I just want to live my normal with out all the reminders, life is hard enough as it is to have to face the constant reminders of the struggles I face, have faced and will face in the future. I’m kind of sick of Cri du Chat Syndrome right now and PCD and Sensory Processing Disorder and all the other dozens of medical diagnoses I deal with on a day-to-day. I’m over it.

Privacy. I have realized I do enjoy my privacy, I used to share everything going on in my life and now I just don’t want to. I am surrounded by great friends and family and those who make the time and effort have the privilege of sharing my life with me. If you don’t make the time or effort for me then you don’t deserve to be a part of my everyday, period.

College. I start college in a few days and want to keep that my priority without any added distractions to my already busy days, I already have enough. I am going to bust my but to make my dreams come true, that means it is time to put everything out on the table and set my priorities in order.

Quiet. And the peace and quiet that accompanies the lack of social media involvement. I am one to read something and think about it for hours talking to myself subconsciously causing my brain to have no rest and emotionally draining myself. Now I have quiet moments where I can have a break between thoughts where my mind is at peace, I’m even sleeping better.

The world we live in travels a mile a minute, there is no sleep or quiet and everyone is on the go constantly but I have realized that is not how I want to live my life. Maybe I am just antiquated but I don’t want to be busy all the time. I want time to play, sleep and dream. Quiet to clear my mind and say a prayer without a mass of jumbled thoughts push its way through to destroy my concentration. I want to watch my kids play outside without thinking about video games and ask to play board games or watch movies together instead of sitting in their rooms on their phones. Disconnecting from one social media outlet is just a start.

For now I am very happy I disconnected, I am more at peace than I have been for a long time and I want to keep it that way.